So, many of you know we have been struggling with infertility for the past two years. As difficult as it has been, I wouldn't change a thing about what God has brought us through. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready at any time for this trial to end and for us to be blessed with a family! My desire to be a parent grows more and more every day. But I am so thankful for the closeness to God and to each other that we have expereinced through everything.
There's a verse in the Bible that says it is better to be in a house of mourning than a house of laughter. I never really started to understand that verse until this past year. Nobody wants to go through times of mourning. But think about what our lives would be like if we never had to experience anything hard. We would never grow in character, never feel like we need God, and never experience the peace and joy that comes as we draw nearer to Him, leaning on Him for strength. Going through our miscarriage last year was one of the saddest months for me, but in a wierd way also the sweetest. My marriage became stronger, my friendships deeper, and most importantly I learned to trust God more with my future, and feel His presence more in my life because of it.
It's tempting to want everything to go my way all the time in my future. I want my family, job, finances, and whatever else to be just how I plan. But even more than I want all these things, I want God's best for me, and if God's best for me means struggling with infertility than that's what I wan't. He is good and I can trust Him, even if I can't see or understand why things happen the way they do. To aviod the trials in life would be to turn my back on experiencing God, and He is worth walking through this for.
